


Hit it Till it Breaks

by needles



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Crack, Drabble, M/M, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 04:04:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14252661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needles/pseuds/needles
Summary: A good rival is hard to find - and even harder to get rid of.





	Hit it Till it Breaks

Gun in hand Iwaizumi eased open the door of the abandoned factory. It rasped against the floor and he paused, listening intently. Nothing. He slipped through the half open doorway and slowly down the corridor beyond, stepping carefully between the debris littering the floor.

As he crept deeper into the shadows a faint sound reached his ears, a grating, clanking, metallic squeal. He closed in on the source, somewhere beyond the next set of doors, probably an old factory floor. A step or two more and he was able to peer through the grimy glass windows in the doors. As he thought, the old machine shop. Mostly empty except for a shadowy figure standing beside a huge box shape. The source of the noise was now clear, the shadow was lowering a bulky object into the box, likely a tank since he could hear slight splashes as it entered, the chain holding it slung round an old pulley in the roof.

Iwaizumi sighed and pushed open the doors, sheathing his gun.

“I might have known it was you!”

With a start the shadow turned, letting go of the chain, the body fell into the tank with a loud splash. The liquid hissing and bubbling as it sank below the surface.

“So what did you try this time? Is that acid?” Iwaizumi asked, peering into the seething tank and wrinkling his nose at the chemical stench.

“Kuroo-chan assured me it would dissolve everything. I shot him first, to immobilise him.”

“It won’t work, you know that don’t you Trashy-kawa? That curse you put on him is far too strong.”

“It wasn’t a curse, it was a regeneration spell for the tree I burned! It’s not my fault he got caught in the crossfire.” Oikawa pouted and glared at the tank.

“Same difference, he’s immortal now. Every time you try to kill him he just regenerates.” Iwaizumi smirked, “You’ll never be rid of him.”

“I’ll find a way, one day,” Oikawa scowled.

“You’ve tried guns, knives, poison, a bulldozer and a guillotine. I have to admit that one was good when he just picked his head out of the basket and stuck it back on,” Iwaizumi chuckled.

Oikawa glared at him, “It’s not funny!”

“Well, come along. You know I have to arrest you.” Iwaizumi pulled out his handcuffs and clicked them round Oikawa’s wrists.

“What’s the charge?” Oikawa whined. “It can’t be murder, he’s not dead, well not for more than an hour or two.”

“Trespassing.”

“Really Iwa-chan? Is that the best you can come up with? It’s so mundane, can’t you make it something more exotic?”

“It is if you don’t want to spend the night in the cells.”

Oikawa grinned, “Ok, I’d rather spend it in your bed. Maybe we can keep the cuffs on too?”

Shoving him roughly towards the doors Iwaizumi glared at him, “Pervert!”

Oikawa laughed to himself again as they left the building.

“Now what, have those fumes got to the few brain cells you’ve got left?”

“His clothes weren’t cursed, they’ll stay dissolved. I’m just imagining Ushijima regenerating and trying to get home stark naked.”

“Don’t put that image in my head Shittykawa. Now get in the car.” He pushed his boyfriend into the back seat and slammed the door, sighing to himself. This was the fifth time he’d had to arrest Oikawa this month. He had to admit Oikawa’s methods were becoming more inventive every time but he was going to go insane if he couldn’t break his boyfriend’s obsession with killing his old rival.

  
He slid himself into the driving seat and glanced at Oikawa in the mirror. “You could have saved yourself all this trouble you know,” he said, starting the car.

Oikawa looked at him, puzzled, “How?”

“You could have gone to Shiratorizawa.” Iwaizumi smirked at the fury on Oikawa's face as he drove away.

 

Back inside the factory a set of steaming, skinless fingers curled over the side of the tank… “Not again,” a low voice groaned.


End file.
